Why Unitarian?

It's always inspiring to hear about other peoples life journeys. Here are a some from different congregation, all unique and individual but with one thing in common - they have found a spiritual home within the Unitarian community. If you would like to share your story please contact Stella Eve byclicking here.

How I came to Unitarianism

I have come to Unitarianism by a rather circuitous route having been brought up with no religious education at all. I picked up bits and pieces through friends and so just followed the faith of the moment. And although at times I really tried to believe in their God and their view of the world and how it came to be I found it too difficult and confusing. I could not buy into the party line. And all too soon I found that although Christians could be great and good people, way to often they were too busy being Christian to be Christian so I was often left out in the cold.

Yet at the end the real coupe de grace was when I was faced with dogma. Having to attest to things I simply did not, could not believe. Having to partake of a communion service that I did not understand and not being able to get anyone to explain it to me in a way that made sense.

Because we had a Unitarian church in Kalamazoo where we had lived in the US , I was somewhat familiar with it and felt that when I was ready to start looking else where for another church it was worth a try. So I found you, and to me it was from the very first a home-coming, a place where I found acceptance and nice people and, the very best of all, an intelligence of thought, word and deed. It was like finding a precious jewel in an old piece of rock and it felt so good.

So now of a Sunday morning I have to sit up and listen as my mind is filled with lots of intelligent thoughts and I am provoked into looking at the world with different eyes and I can laugh and enjoy a good story. And you know what? I love it. I love all of it and it makes me proud to accepted into and a part of this very special and unique congregation.

Why I'm a Unitarian

I once described my ideal church at a dinner with some Christian friends: a place where anyone could come and discuss their spiritual experiences and explore the 'meaning of life' with like minded peers. 'Too wishy washy' my friends said 'it would never work'. Well, it does!

Raised in a Christian household I always believed in God although what I would say now is that I have interpreted my spiritual experiences as coming from an external source (for anyone with enough time on their hands to listen to that rather long winded explanation). I abandoned any kind of spiritual life at university with mixed success but after university set out to find The Truth. Naturally, I ended up living in a church which was widely regarded as a cult (they fought and won a court case in America challenging a journalist who described them as such, however, it is a mystery to me how they managed that). I moved from Manchester to London and lived with people from the cult but with constant guidance from my parents began to question a number of their approaches to spiritual living.

I felt I had done my utmost to live the life God wanted me to live and now it turned out it was all wrong! Frustrated, I said 'God, I don't care who is right, whether it is the Catholics, the International Church of Christ (ICC), or even the Muslims, but I need some answers here'. Two days later my somewhat eccentric line manager (Bill) gave me a book he had written about his beliefs. (He hoped to publish this but unfortunately Neale Donald Walsh had got there first with 'Conversations with God' ( CwG ) as I pointed out to him a few years later, poor Bill). I liked the concepts in the book and we discussed them at length in the canteen at work. Of course I felt that this was 'a sign' coming so swiftly after my rather demanding prayers. Then, during a weekend in Cambridge I picked up a book in a second hand bookshop - Betty Eadie's 'What Happens When You Die?'. This book blew my mind and again I felt as if having opened myself up these books were finding me and teaching me. In the meantime I left the ICC and went to Buddhist groups and the Brahma Kumaris, both of which I enjoyed but was drawn back to what was traditionally familiar to me - the Anglican church.

CwG ironically came to my attention through a house-group meeting when we were asked to pray for someone who had been disturbed by CwG , specifically the bit where God had alleged that even Hitler went to heaven. This book sounds great, I thought, sign me up! So I read the three CwG books and they changed my life. They made so much sense and encompassed thoughts I had not been able to vocalise. Still, I ploughed on with the Anglican church as there was a lot of good in that church and I had some nice friends. After six years, the gay issue forced me out as I could see that the counterproductive 'angle' on homosexuality was inherently un-Christian and frankly bonkers. To say that the fact that intelligent people could not see this baffled me entirely is a gross understatement (rant over).

Now I was in the wilderness somewhat and thought I could never join another church. Why bother when you couldn't share what you thought and experienced? But I did join Meetup.com - a website where literally every group imaginable posts their dates, times and venues for meetings. Given my profile and interests, the 'system' suggested the Urban Unitarians. I had never heard of The Unitarians so did some research and found there was a church right down the road. I went along and the final piece of the puzzle fitted, hallelujah!

Sometimes I look at the people in this church and almost can't believe they exist - so wise, so kind, their intentions so good. They are not perfect, nor am I, but their beauty is that they know this and do not condemn themselves for it but just say 'How can I be better? How can I be authentic? How can I improve my tiny space in the world?' I have not got all the answers, if anything, more questions, but where I used to say I was somewhere between a Christian and a Buddhist, now I say I am a Unitarian.

Sara Wilcox

Why I'm a Unitarian

I was brought up in a traditional "high church" Church of England congregation in Somerset , with lots of incense and candles. We would go every week to the Sunday morning service, dressed in our Sunday best, and my brothers and I would go to the Sunday school whilst my mother would stay in the service. When I was old enough, I joined the choir and had choir practice every Friday night and sang every Sunday morning and evening. We also sang at weddings when requested, for which we received the princely sum of 50p per wedding!

As I got older, I still sang in the choir, but began to realise that I knew the entire service, from the Alternative Service Book, by heart and wasn't even thinking about the words as they were being said. I also started listening to the sermons given by the Vicar and found that I did not always agree with what he was saying and, as I got older, I no longer went as I did not feel right going along to recite the service by heart and listen to someone telling me things I could not go along with.

When we spent a year in New York , we visited All Souls, a Unitarian church along the road from where we were living. This was something very different from what I was brought up with, the sermons by Rev Forrest Church were very intelligent, thought-provoking talks on a wide range of subjects. When we returned to England , we found that there was a Unitarian Church just down the road in Croydon. We went to a service and were welcomed, first by Pauline in her notices and by Elizabeth Birtles afterwards. When Bryn was one, we arranged for him to have a naming service on Christmas Eve, which was a lovely, candlelit service in the round.

Since then, and especially since Art arrived, we have been more regular visitors, singing in the choir and I now struggle with the monthly newsletter to make sure it is ready for Merryn to make it look good! I enjoy the services every week and it is nice to go to the church and have some time to reflect on things with people who are genuinely pleased to see us.

David Williams
Croydon Congregation